- They are very weird people.
他們是非常奇怪的人類。 - There are billions of them in the world, like colors on the screen of your computer.
世上有千百萬這樣的怪胎，多得就像你電腦屏幕上的色彩。 - They will analyse conversations in layers.
他們會像對待圖層一樣，逐層分析談話的含義。 - You will spend the day assembling furniture from IKEA.
你得花一整天跟他們一起組裝宜家傢俱。 - They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging.
他們向來不管什麼都往嘴裡倒，只因為他們喜歡那些食物的包裝。 - They hate each other.
他們討厭彼此。 - You'll come out the last out of the movies because you have to see the full list of credits.
欣賞完一部電影之後，你會是最後一個走出影院的人，因為你得陪他看完演職員字幕才能走。 - They can't change a light bulb or without making a sketch.
他們換不了一個燈泡，或者說，他們得先畫張草圖才行。 - They fuck up all the tables with their cutters.
桌子總會被他們的美工刀搞砸。 - They rather study the paisley pattern on your outfit than listen to what you have to say.
他們寧願研究你外套上的佩斯利渦漩花紋，也不會想去聽你說什麼。 - They will fill your house with magazines and whatever is out there that has drawings.
他們會在你家堆滿雜誌，或者隨便什麼有著圖畫的東西。 - You never know if it is really an original or a copy.
你永遠不會知道那是原版的還是仿製的。 - They make collages with your photos.
他們會拿你的照片玩拼圖。 - They do not know how to add and subtract, they just understand letters.
他們不懂什麼是加減，他們只認字母。 - They idolize people who nobody knows and speak of them as if they were his colleagues.
他們崇拜著沒人知道的某號人物，聊起此人來彷彿就像他們是同事一樣。 - They take pictures almost daily and all are cut in weird shapes.
他們幾乎每天都要拍照，並且都喜歡裁成怪異的形狀。 - They ask your opinion about everything but they do whatever they want.
他們什麼都要問你的意見，然後他們愛幹什麼就幹什麼。 - Everything is left justified, right or center unless they arrive late.
什麼東西都要左對齊、右對齊，或是居中對齊，除非他們晚點了。 - They hate Comic Sans with the same passion they love Helvetica.
他們狂熱地討厭著 Comic Sans 字體正如他們狂熱地偏愛 Helvetica 字體一樣。 - They use iPhone for everything, because everyone has one.
他們用iPhone做每一件事，因為他們人手一台。 - You can not decorate the house without consulting them.
你不能在咨詢他們的意見之前就裝飾你的房子。 - They steal street signs.
他們偷走街頭的路牌。 - Always carry their hands painted with something.
他們的手總是染著某種色彩。 - They buy dolls unfinished for them to paint.
他們買玩偶的半成品，就為了自己可以來上色。 - Everything becomes something other than what it really is: cards as tickets, cards as …
任何事物在他們的觀念中總不是事物的原本定義。比如說拿卡片當作門票，拿卡片當作XX等等。 - When arguing, you will be nicknamed like the OSX spinning wheel (not affectionately)
當你們鬥嘴時，你會被取個類似「蘋果平台的彩色轉輪」之類的綽號。（當然不是暱稱） - Do not know how to dress without consulting the Pantone book.
不看國際標準色卡他們簡直就不知道該穿什麼。 - They hate Excel.
他們討厭 Excel 這類試算表軟件。 - They read comics.
他們看漫畫書。 - They want to save the world only with a poster.
對他們來說做個海報就像是拯救世界的大事。 - You will spend the day brainstorming.
你會花一整天來和他一起做頭腦風暴。 - On vacation they will take you to countries that you do not know exist and have no beach.
他們會帶你去你從沒聽說過的國家度假，而且保證是個你找不到海灘的地方。 - Museums are their second home.
博物館是他們的第二個家。 - They know more positions than the Kamasutra.
他們想得到的姿勢比印度愛經都多。 - They can't go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design.
他們上餐廳時總會私下批評菜單的設計。 - They listen to music you have never heard of.
他們聽你從沒聽過的音樂。 - They can′t cook a normal dish, they always have to experiment with new ingredients.
他們不會做一道正常的菜，緣於他們總喜歡嘗試新作料。 - They read rare books: stories of children, Semiotics …
他們總看些奇怪的書：兒童故事、語言符號學等等。 - When you are going to tell you something, everyone has read it in their facebook and twitter.
當他要跟你說什麼事的時候，你們所認識的所有親朋好友都會從他們的臉書和推特上看到。 - They have own iPods before you knew they existed.
在你知道iPod存在之前 他們就已經有了。 - The orgasm they remember is when they heard that Adobe was acquiring Macromedia.
他們能記得的性高潮是發生在他們聽說 Adobe 收購 Macromedia 的那一刻。 - They have their own shops just for them and there are the most expensive in the city.
他們有固定採購的店舖，而那裡的東西往往是全城賣得最貴的。 - They want to spend all the money in the Apple Store.
他們願意在蘋果專賣店宣佈破產。 - You will never understand their gifts.
你永遠不懂他們送你的禮物。 - They see ordinary objects and laugh.
他們會看到尋常物件時開懷大笑。 - You wake up in the middle of the night hearim them screaming "When is the deadline?"
你會在半夜裡被他們驚叫「什麼時候截稿？」而嚇醒。 - They see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix.
他們看到的 CMYK 和 RGB 如同《駭客任務》的 Neo 看待矩陣。 - They dream of the day nobody will make a single change to their designs.
他們總妄想著有天沒有人會改動他們任一的設計細節。 - They rather pay for a font than for a special birthday gift.
他們寧願花錢買字體也不會想去買份特別的生日禮物。 - They are always sleepy because they work 24/7.
他們永遠在想睡狀態，因為他們每週工作七天，每天工作24小時。
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這個呢，早幾個月前金金給我看的。
剛剛翻了出來，就貼一貼。
當時呢，她不但要我看，還特意列印了出來，
一邊朗讀、一邊指著我笑到噗噗聲。
笑什麼啊，我可覺得有型非常咧。
但話說回來，i love EXCEL。
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